


When I look at you

by Pirouette_Moomoo



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 23:41:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12352941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pirouette_Moomoo/pseuds/Pirouette_Moomoo
Summary: The first time our eyes locked, it was merely by accident [...] It lasted less than a second, but it was enough for me to know my life wouldn't be the same if I couldn't look again in your eyes.





	When I look at you

The first time our eyes locked, it was merely by accident, two strangers in a crowded bus full of bodies with different shapes and smells. It lasted less than a second, but it was enough for me to know my life wouldn't be the same if I couldn't look in your eyes again, and again.

All the way from my work, I couldn't keep mine away from you, as stalker as it sounds, I was scrutinized every parts of you, your delicate apparance, your feminine and stylish look, your exquisite hair and your angelic face. Even the bored expression painted on it was mezmerizing. I panicked when I saw you leave your seat, going out the bus in the next stop. So I followed you, like a creeper I was becoming. The way you walked was elegant, and the wind blowing on your hair made me believed you were a goddess, coming to this world to shine on my mere existence. You stopped at that cafe, in which I assumed you work. So I made myself a promise to come there more often.

 

For the whole week, I sacrifice half oh my lunch break for the round trip between my work and your cafe. I would try the different snacks displayed, but didn't had the chance to talk to you yet, as another worker took my orders. I would stay, eating here, stealing glance in your direction, but never had the chance to hear your voice, because it was a noisy place. But the 8th time I came here, my prayer were exhausted and my ears where blessed.

« Hello, I am Yongsun, may I take your order ? »

I looked at you, unabled to say a word as my brain tried to register what happened. You made it worst when I notice your wonderful smile. I knew it was the automatic behavior of a waitress, but I felt blessed anyway. « Excuse me, miss ? Is there anything you want to order ? ». I did ask for the first thing that came in my mind, but the words didn't came in the right order. But I'm glad they did, because I was reward by a small laugh coming from you.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I would never forget the first time I saw fear in your eyes, and I will never forgave the assh*le who made it appear. We were on the same bus again, but it was at the end of the day. It was more crowded than ever, so much that every passagers where pressed against the other. I was near you, but you didn't notice, you were focus on looking at the ground, obviously bothered with all those people.

 

I try to take some glance at you, wanting to assure myself you were fine, but that giantic dude was on the way. I looked at him and noticed the smirk on his perverted face. Then I realised he was looking at you, probably undressing you in his thought. I felt sick, I wanted to punch him for the way he behave around you. When the bus stopped and go again, the way the crowd moved pushed him closer to you, touching your side. You look at him, shocked and you tried to separate yourself from him, but there weren't space enough.

 

I was concentrate on your face when I saw the fear appear, along with your eyes becoming bigger, and tears threatening to follow. I look at the dude, his smirk was wider, I had no time to wonder why when I spoted where his right hand was. That sick bastard was touching your bottom, and it wasn't by accident. I didn't had the least of remorse when I step on his foot, as hard as I could, and punched him on his stomach, and I remember insulting him before leading you out of that bus, since it was stopped.

 

Then I realised my action. I turned around I looked in your eyes, I wasn't used to look at such perfection, so I quickly look down at my feet, embarrassed.

« Th..thank you » you said, and I thanked god to allow me to hear your voice again.

« It's nothing..I saw what that pervert was doing, I needed to do something. »

« Most of the time, other people don't do anything, it's the first time somebody did something so..thank you »

I lood at her, a worried expression on my face « It happened to you before ? » I was enraged at myself, why didn't I save her the other times ?

« No..not really, it's just the thing you read on the internet.. by the way, I'm Kim Yong Sun. » you said, as you hold out your hand.

« I..I know who you are, but I'm Byulyi..Moon Byulyi » I said as I timidly take your hand in mine. It was the first time our skins came in contact, and I felt jolt of electricity, It was so intense, you had to feel it too.

« You know me ? How so ? » you asked me, with an intrigued expression.

« I..I came to have lunch in the cafe you work in. »

« Oh ! That why your face look familiar ! Well, thank you again Byulyi ssi, you're my hero today. » You said with a breathtaking smile, you surely wanted it to sound like a joke, but I nearly faint when I heard it. If you wanted me to be your hero, then I will dedicate my life to save you.

« I better get going now, we left the bus, but I'm far from my home, maybe I can catch another one. » you said more to yourself, but after what happened, letting you enter in one of those thing again was not an option.

« It will be faster with a taxi, don't you think ? Maybe we can share one ? » I asked, while trying to smile, but I was sure I failed the last part. You look at me with round eyes, and then agree with my idea.

My house was nearer than your, but I cherished the few minutes I spent with you.

« Well, It was nice meeting you Byulyi ssi, I hope we'll see the each other more in the future ? »

I didn't dare to say something because I knew I would look like a fool, so I nodded at you, and unwillingly left the taxi.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

For the next few months, I would come for lunch at least thrice a week, sitting at the same place and taking glance at you while monitoring every human being coming closer to you. I was sure the meaning of my existence in this world was to protect you, the goddess among humans. You would notice me, sometimes waving at me, sometime smiling, on the luckiest days you would stop at my table and exchange few words.

 

On the bus taking us home, I would stand by your side, acting like a bodyguard, as you once said. We were slowly becoming more than acquaintances, we were becoming friends. On that bus you would speak about everything, someday with tiredness in your voice, other times while being totally hyper. As for me, I would mostly look at you, the way your perfect lips formed the words, the way your smile spread until you cresent eyes, the way you automatically comb your hair. I was sure of it, since the first time I was permitted to lay my eyes on you, that I was in love with you, in love with an angel.

Your bubbly personnality influenced me. Before knowing you, I was kind of gloomy, detached from this world. You made this existence worth living, It was only when I was with you I truly laughed, when I was with you I felt really living.

I remembered the first time you ask me to join you for a friendly meeting on you day off. We begun by doing shopping, then we went in an arcade room and even taking silly purikura, like some highschool girls. It still one of the best day of my life. You were so wonderful, I couldn't keep my hand from grazing yours, or slightly hugging you when we were laughing. I felt bad because of it, I felt like that assh*le in the bus, how dare was I to touch an angel ? But then your responded with your own small brushes, and I swear my heart stopped a few time.

5 months after meeting you, I became greedy, I treasured our friendship but inside of me, I wanted more. I let my inner desire took control of me, that time I asked you to go watch a movie with me. You were expecting a friendly date, but my feeling betrayed you, when I told you I rather thought of it as a date. You were surprised, and didn't respond at first. I was panicked and despaired, I was sure that because of my selfishness, I destroyed our friendship.

But later that day, you called me to accept the date. I was on cloud nine. I thought about it H24 until D-day. I wanted to look perfect for you, I had to match your perfection so I reviewed every articles on my closet to finally decided to go with a white shirt and a skinny jean. My legs deceive me for a moment when I saw you in front of the theater, how could you be so gorgeous with a blue skirt and a shirt matching mine ?

« Don't you think we look like a couple like that ? » You asked, a blush on your cheeks. I refrained myself to pinch it. My angel is as cute as she is gorgeous. I don't recall wich movie we saw, but I could say the sort of scene it display by your expression. From laughter, to emotional and even sad, I had the chance to witness you angelic face and all its expression.That date was the first of a multitude of other. We grew closer everytime and so my greed did. I was becoming jealous of the people around you, but I didn't let it show.

 

It was on a snowy day 8 months after our first meeting I became bolder. We were on a date, and after a dinner you suggested going to a club. I wasn't fond of the idea, for my it was like letting a cute ewe in a wood full of wolves, even I was a wolf in disguise. But you were enjoying the idea so much I couldn't say no. You were having a great time, dancing like crazy and I was too, I was happy to be by your side, and I enjoyed partying more than I expected. You just didn't saw all the deadly stares I throw to the other wolves, that night I made myself clear, you were mine.

You surprised me by putting you arms around my neck when a slow song blasted through the speaker. It was time for the couples to dance but apparently, you didn't want to leave the dancefloor. I timidly put my arm around your back, suppressing the naughty thought of going southern. To show you satisfaction about my action, you gave me a big smile and put you head on my shoulder. We danced slowly and I heard you hummed the song. I felt canonized by your singing voice. I couldn't help but break the peaceful silent between us.

« I didn't know you sing. »

« Don't say that, it's embarrassing » you said while looking at me. As if you bewicthed me with you singing voice, I was captivated and drown to you lips.

« There is nothing to be ashamed of Yongsun ah, you've got the voice of an angel. »

I kept leaning to your lips, but you didn't show any sign of refusal. I look at your eyes and saw the same needs as me. I couldn't take it anymore so I sealed our lips together, in the middle of the dance floor but I couln't care less. Saying I saw fireworks when we kiss was far from what I felt, until today I have difficulties to explain it. I felt like I reborn again, into the girl who love Kim Yong Sun.

We separate to fast to my liking, but when I saw the way you bite your lower lips after our kiss, I knew our relationship enter in the next level.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I didn't had the chance to finish my confession to you as you jumped on me, kissing me tenderly while saying you felt the same way, that you felt for you charming knight in armor. At that time I thought I couldn't be happier. You made everyday worth living, everyday I discovered new things about you. My jealousy toward the other human beings grew as much as we became a couple, I couldn't hide it anymore, but you were finding it cute at first. I couldn't help but make comments on all the people who were looking at you a little too much for my liking when we were on date. But I would alway filter myself before speaking.

After 2 months of a couple life, we felt confortable enough to have sleepover in each other appartment. We didn't do sinful acts yet. Although my greed for you body was slowly rising, I succeed on controling it, because looking at you sleeping or concentrating on the TV or while cooking with me was such privilege, I didn't want to rotten those moments. I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you by now. I already wanted to propose to you, but I knew I might go to fast in our relationship.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I thought I already saw all the expression your face could do, but one day I had the painful evidence that some were missing. We were a couple for 7 months a that time, and we went to a club to celebrate the birthday of your co worker, Whee In. Unfortunately, that day a lot of people were gawking at you, my jealous self took control of me. I was acting like a fool, prohibiting you to go to the dance floor without me. I knew you were fed up with my attitude, I was such a party pooper on your friend birthday.

You didn't listen to me and went dancing with her, challenging me to stop you. I didn't, not wanting to look like an ass in front of Whee In, but instead I did something worse. I begun drinking, to forget about my jealousy. I didn't realised I had already several shot of vodka the first time I take you out of the dance floor. I begun to be incorrect with Whee In because I didn't like the way you danced toghether. I was holding your wrist, maybe a little too tightly because you snacthing it from my grip. You looked at me, incomprehension in your eyes. It was also what I felt, I didn't understand myself that night, I wasn't me, but a drunk & jealous monster in that club.

You made me sat back on our table, telling me to stop drinking, resting a little. Assuring me we were about to leave, after dancing a little more. I snorted at you, ordering you to come back asap, rudeness in my words. You turned around and I saw them, the frustation and the shame on your eyes. That night you were ashamed to be assimilated with me. I didn't listen to you, as I went to the bar and asked for more drink. After what felt like 30 more minutes, which I wasn't really sure since I lost track of the times, I was even more wasted. So much I wonder how I could walk to the dancefloor, and how I could throw punches after punches at that dude who was touching you. It happened really fast, one second I turn around, looking for you on the dancefloor, and then I saw you, with him pratically backhugging you while dancing, but the worst part that when I thought seeing you smile.

So here I was, in the middle on the dancefloor, punching a guy which face I even didn't saw. I remembered screaming insults at him, after each throw. I wanted him and the other to understand you were mine, and only mine. Bouncers came soon after, they were atleast two to refrain me, and throwing me out. You followed behind, enraged by what happened.

« Have you lost your mind ?! Byul look at me when I speak to you ! »

I did look at you, but I saw two Yongsun, and I was more focus on trying to stay on my feet.

« What's wrong with you really ?! Is it difficult for you to let me have fun with my friend ?! »

« have...fun ? » my mouth was speaking, not my brain.

« Being press on that mother f*cker was fun ? »

« Byul ! You're impossible really ! I was dancing with Whee In and didn't had time to realised what that guy was doing because you were already beating the crap out of him ! »

« huh, sure thing, that assh*le will remember today, I punch him soooooooo hard, ha ! » I was too drunk to realize my action, at that moment I was so proud of me.

You seemed to notice I couldn't go home by myself, you were an angel enough to bring me home, and trying to help me going to sleep, while all I was doing was bugging you. I was ratting out all those times I felt so jealous about people, you were listenning with exasperation on your face. But then I said something I shouldn't.

« And that guuurl tho, Whee In..I don't like how she looked at youu. »

« Oh come on Byul, you're jealous of her too ?! Stop being stupid will you ! »

« No, you stop being blind ! You gorgeous and they all want you ! I need to keep you by my side and punch everybody, even that bi- » I didn't had the time to finish my sentence, thanks lord you stopped me. I don't have any problem with Whee In, but that night I was out of control. If only you didn't stop me with a slap.

« Stop Byul ! Really ! I don't recognize you ! You're freaking me out ! What should I do for you huh ? Being a pretty doll in a plastic house so you can comb my hair and do everything YOU want ? »

« That would be easier than being an easy girl who dance suspiciously with her friend, and let dudes back huging her IN FRONT OF HER F*CKING GIRLFRIEND » You slapped me another time, but if I were you, I would have thrown myself from the windows. I saw it, the hurt expression on your face, the only one I didn't want to see. But the worst was It came because of me. You didn't say anything as you leave my place, I yelled at you to comeback, but you didn't.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

For two weeks after that night, I tried to contact you, without success. I tried to see you on the cafe, as soon as my lone figure approached, Whee In was blocking the way, prohibiting me to enter.

I felt desperate, hopeless, pathetic and alone. I did become so used to your presence, I didn't knew how to cope with your sudden departure. My life lost its sense. All I was doing was going to work, and coming back home. You didn't even take the bus again.

On the third week of our seperation, I couldn't take it anymore, and I did something I prohibited myself, to not freak you out, I went to your appartment, I needed to see you, even if it was the last time, I needed to tell you what's on my heart, heck I needed to give you my heart, free to you to do anything you want with it. I was ready for the happiest and the worst scenario. If I couldn't have you in my life, then living didn't have any sense.

 

After pressing the doorbell, I saw Whee In as she opened the door. You might had become closer to her then ? She was ready to throw me out. But the distressful look I had might have softened her, she didn't speak for a few second so I took my chance.

« Can I see her ? Please, let me see her. But if she don't want, then I go. » The word came in a whisper, I didn't have gut to speak, I was too afraid.

« Oh my god Byulyi unnie, what happened to you ?! You're in a worst state than her ! »

Her sentence woke up something in me ? _Worst ? She means Yongsun isn't right too ?! But I'm her hero, I need to save her._ I looked at Whee In and gently pushed her, to enter. She didn't stop me, but said « I'll leave you too, but if you ever hurt her again, It's me who'll break your nose in the middle of the dancefloor ! »

 

I take a look around one her appartment, she was nowhere to be found. Before I had the chance to call her, she walked out of her bedroom. « Who was it Whee In ah..oh.. »

She looked peaky. It seemed like she cried, and she looked skinner.

« Yongsun ah..please tell me you eat enough ? » all what matter for me was her health at that moment.

« I can ask you the same Byul ah, I feel like I'm looking at a ghost. »

« Yongsun ah..I'm sorry, I'm was a fool..I ..I why did I acted like that, I can't know..that wasn't me Yongsun ah, you know it.. »

« You hurt me Byul ah..That night you were stupid, an real idiot. Even before you began to drink I didn't recognize you..I don't want to be with you if it's for having the life of a bird in a cage. I thought you were different ».

« I'm sorry Yongsun ah.. » As I was trying to speak to her, I fall on my knees

« You're right, I'm just an idiot, an idiot who fall in love with an angel. I love you Yongsun, You are so perfect in my eyes, I felt like I needed to protect you from everything, but that feeling evolved in that nasty jealousy, I couldn't stop myself, I didn't. But now I experienced life withtout you, and I can't bear it. I want to change Yongsun ah, but I can't do it if you aren't by my side. I will ask for you forgiveness as long as it's need, all my life if you want, but please, let me be by your side once again. »

 

When I look at her, she was already on her knee, just in front of me and took my face in her hands. I could see tenderness in her eyes, and maybe love ?

« Byul ah..I love you too, and it was hard for me being separated from you. If you're willing to change, I'll be more than happy to help you, I don't want to spend another minutes without you. »

« W...What did you say ? The first part ? »

« I love you Byul ah » you confirmed with a smile. I knew I was crying at that point, my angel loved me, and you gave me another chance. Slowly but surely, I went to kiss those lips again, those wonderful lips I missed so much.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

So here we are now, one year after that terrible event, I'm waiting for you for the lifetime travel we're about to make. I propose to you 3 months after getting back together, I couldn't wait any longer and when you said yes, I felt blessed. The night after my proposal was the night we become one. The night I saw love, lust, needs on your expression, I felt complete in your embrace.

All our friends and family were here to share that moments. I couldn't be happier, until I saw you, coming in your white dress,walking down the aisle. I felt like I finally see you through your original form of an angel. I fall in love with the purest human being, and she loves me back. I was proud to call you my wife, and I'll do everything for you to feel the same.

Finally, you were in front of me, I nearly skipped all the ceremony because all I wanted was to kiss you. When I looked at you, your eyes were gleaming with joy, eagerness and love. All that time, when I looked at you, I knew you were the one for me, because the emotion I saw, the emotion I knew you felt, I felt it too. As if we were connected, as if were both share the same heart and soul, I knew from the beginning you were my soulmate.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Moomoos in Ao3 \o/  
> 1st time I'm posting my work here, hopefully you will enjoy it ^^  
> I have several other fics, some finished, a lot on hiatus (life, give me free time thank you.)


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